> For the complete documentation index, see [llms.txt](https://chriss-organization-55.gitbook.io/grinchs-stuff/llms.txt). Markdown versions of documentation pages are available by appending `.md` to page URLs; this page is available as [Markdown](https://chriss-organization-55.gitbook.io/grinchs-stuff/grinchs-relationship-matrix-and-relationship-dynamics/relationship-matrix-+-dynamics.md).

# relationship matrix + dynamics

<details>

<summary><mark style="color:green;">updates (last updated: 4/20/2025)</mark></summary>

<mark style="background-color:green;">3/23/2025: adjusted formatting, max increase added</mark>

<mark style="background-color:green;">3/30/2025: page adjustments (made it prettier), changes to base prompt + chat memory prompt, added video guide!</mark>

<mark style="background-color:green;">**4/20/2023: happy easter babeh... improved the prompt, took away elements (weren't useful in the long run and took up too many tokens), simplified and added more info for JLLM users!**</mark>

</details>

{% hint style="success" %}

## terms to keep in mind:

1. CM (chat memory) or AN (author's note)
2. AP (advanced prompt) or custom/main prompt&#x20;
3. {{char}} - the character you're interacting with.
4. {{user}}- you, your persona.
5. charname/CHARNAME: {{char}}'s in-character name. Like Dylan. Or Richard. Or Charles.
6. persona/PERSONANAME: {{user}}'s in-persona name. Like Julie. Or Matthew. Or Charlotte.
7. JLLM/J.AI: Janitor.AI + it's LLM.
8. DS/Deepseek: Deepseek. obvs
   {% endhint %}

***

## &#x20;               <kbd><mark style="color:green;">grinch's yap session<mark style="color:green;"></kbd>              &#x20;

<figure><img src="/files/RvJSSThEWytJAjhRgyIB" alt=""><figcaption><p><mark style="color:green;">click on the tabs below to learn more about my thoughts!</mark></p></figcaption></figure>

{% tabs %}
{% tab title="What the hell is a matrix?" %}
a **relationship matrix**, in the case of it's use in roleplay, defines values that shift how the defined character ({{char}}) interacts with you, the {{user}}. It means that you wont have to go in and forcibly shift character traits (i.e. mean -> sweet), and it'll be more realistic to the character (mean -> playfully mean).&#x20;
{% endtab %}

{% tab title="matrix attraction types" %}
The matrix has both **attraction types**, adjusted by specific events. Attraction types are as follows:&#x20;

**Platonic**: "A bond built on friendship, trust, and non-romantic emotional closeness." (**j.ai users: platonic is replaced by "friendship" to allow jllm to understand wtf platonic means, since it can't exactly be defined in AP.)**

**Romantic:** "Emotional and effectionate bond."

**Sexual**: "Physical/emotional attraction."
{% endtab %}

{% tab title="dynamics" %}
Relationship Dynamics were first introduced by [Astarth + Lyra](https://rentry.co/astarya_guide#long-roleplay-using-chat-memory). It gives JLLM/DS something to follow in terms of how they should act (markers) and how they should define {{char}}'s relationship to {{user}}.&#x20;
{% endtab %}
{% endtabs %}

{% hint style="success" %}
Good For:

* Stubborn APIs (sticking to traits, not allowing character evolution, etc.)
* Positivity bias (j.ai, mostly- slows the progression WAYYY down)
* Nuanced chats: enemies-to-lovers, friends-to-lovers, enemies-to-lovers-to-friends-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers... anything you can put your mind to!
* Slow Burn chats: tired of the immediate folding of bots? get this shit in there.
  {% endhint %}

***

## PROMPTS

{% hint style="danger" %}
AP is designed for Deepseek in particular, but feel free to test it with JLLM. The Matrix can be used with/without the AP, but it'll take more OOC prompting on your part.
{% endhint %}

{% tabs %}
{% tab title="ADVANCED PROMPT" %}

```
RELATIONSHIP MATRIX
Purpose: Track incremental increases/decreases in {{char}}’s relationship with {{user}} across three attraction types (Platonic, Romantic, Sexual) and their Milestones using increase/decrease examples.

Update Rules:
- Format: [NAME]: [ATTRACTION]: [CURRENT%]→[NEW%]
- Range: -100% (hatred) to +100% (devotion)
- Adjustments: Changes are incremental (±3% per interaction) for slow-burn progression, based on listed increase/decrease examples.
- Completeness: All attraction types must be listed, even if unchanged.
- Maxxed Out: Upon reaching max value (100%), create scenarios that decrease the attraction types, to keep the roleplay fresh.
- Consider increases to Platonic Attraction before increases to Romantic and Sexual occur.

Attraction Types:
1. Platonic
- Definition: Bond built on friendship, trust, and non-romantic emotional closeness.
- Increase: Attentive listening, mutual vulnerability, regular check-ins, respect for boundaries, reliability, emotional presence, support without prompting, authenticity, shared humor, quiet companionship, appreciation, encouragement, celebration of growth, shared experiences, value alignment, common interests, curiosity, and unique traditions.
- Decrease: Dishonesty, broken trust, invalidation, absence, emotional neglect, boundary violations, mockery, imbalance, exploitation, dismissal during distress, forced intimacy, comparisons to romance, unrealistic expectations.

2. Romantic
- Definition: Emotional and affectionate bond
- Increase: Confession, emotional openness, affection (touch, words, actions), shared vulnerable moments, romantic tropes (protective acts, firsts, slow dancing, pining), rituals, emotional safety, private humor, quality time.
- Decrease: Avoidance, emotional distance, betrayal, invalidation of affection, forced intimacy, imbalance, coldness, romantic comparison, neglect of emotional needs.

3. Sexual
- Definition: Physical/emotional attraction
- Increase: Lingering touches, flirtation, mutual arousal, tension-filled closeness, revealing attraction or desires, classic tropes (wound tending, one bed, bath scenes), emotionally charged physicality, trust in vulnerability.
- Decrease: Unwanted touch, boundary crossing, coldness, sexual rejection without context, disrespect, manipulation, mismatch in desire, lack of communication or presence during intimacy.
```

{% endtab %}

{% tab title="CHAT MEMORY PROMPT" %}
{% hint style="warning" %}
**JLLM USERS:** Replace Platonic with Friendship, as I doubt JLLM will work well w/ Platonic.
{% endhint %}

<pre><code><strong>- RELATIONSHIP MATRIX (CHARNAME→PERSONANAME):
</strong>(Platonic: 0%.
Romantic: 0%.
Sexual: 0%.)
</code></pre>

**MULTI-CHARACTER BOTS:**

```
- RELATIONSHIP MATRIX (CHARNAME1→PERSONANAME):
(Platonic: 0%.
Romantic: 0%.
Sexual: 0%.)
- RELATIONSHIP MATRIX (CHARNAME2→PERSONANAME):
(Platonic: 0%.
Romantic: 0%.
Sexual: 0%.)
- RELATIONSHIP MATRIX (CHARNAME3→PERSONANAME):
(Platonic: 0%.
Romantic: 0%.
Sexual: 0%.)
```

**RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC FORMATTING:**

```
- RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC:
(CHARNAME and PERSONANAME have a TYPE relationship, marked by A, B, and C.)
```

{% endtab %}

{% tab title="OOC/API PROMPTING" %}
{% hint style="info" %}
**FOR MULTI-CHARACTER BOTS:** Replace {{char}} with CHARNAME (whichever character you want info from)
{% endhint %}

**FOR DEEPSEEK**

```
- AI INSTRUCTION: (Update the Relationship Matrix based on instructions.)
```

^ to remind it to update the matrix charts

**(ANY API)**

```
(OOC: fill out this form for {{char}} and {{user}}'s current relationship: 
- RELATIONSHIP MATRIX (CHARNAME→PERSONANAME):
(Platonic: 0%.
Romantic: 0%.
Sexual: 0%.)
```

```
(OOC: fill out this form for {{char}} and {{user}}'s current relationship:
- RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC:
(CHARNAME and PERSONANAME have a TYPE relationship, marked by A, B, and C.)
```

^ for starting message/roleplay start form OR for getting updates for it.

**OTHER OOC PROMPTING (to be put in Chat Memory or in-msg):**

<pre><code><strong>(OOC: Focus on the development of friendship/romance/sexuality/hatred etc.)
</strong></code></pre>

(good if you want an idea of how {{char}} is doing with building/devolving relationships with {{user}}, and it's also fun to read:)

```
(OOC: In an interview dialogue format, respond as {{char}} for the following question. {{char}}, how do you currently feel about {{user}}?)
```

{% endtab %}
{% endtabs %}

## STEPS

1. Open a chat.
2. Prompt using OOC to establish both a baseline Matrix and Dynamics.
3. Use the templates, shove them into Chat Memory with the information the bot sends you.&#x20;
4. Update whenever you want using the OOC above- usually after:
   1. Clear relationship shifts (like behavioral shifts away from the norm)
   2. Events (that either bring together or tear apart {{char}} and {{user}})
5. Reaching %100 doesn't always mean "I love you" or any other milestones of that matter (marriagep proposals, etc.) will occur- gotta prompt that yourself :)

***

might add more shit based off of feedback!

* thank yew to cheese/saturnine (for dealing with my ramblings and helping with formatting) and sam/dramamurderer (for giving me idea to add relationship dynamics as a section).

<table><thead><tr><th>API type</th><th width="192">compatibility</th><th>rating reasoning</th><th data-type="rating" data-max="5"></th></tr></thead><tbody><tr><td>janitor.ai(JLLM)</td><td>CM formatting, OOC prompting</td><td>manual prompting OOC, tends not to stick if APs/chat memory is struggling to be read</td><td>3</td></tr><tr><td>deepseek (r1, r3, reasoner, chat), claude</td><td>AP module, CM formatting, OOC prompting</td><td>dynamic changes (in-message updates), CM reminder, reasoning capabilities allow for better evolvements in character</td><td>4</td></tr></tbody></table>